Longs Park Castle

Reviewer: Not provided on Thu 19 Feb 2015 rated 1 out of 10.

This is badged as a castle, it isn't, it is a shabby lodge for Rood Ashton Hall that was demolished many years ago. The great hall is simply the entrance through the gatehouse with a cheap conservatory stuck on the back. We booked a weekend away for a friend to celebrate her 40th birthday party as she always wanted to stay in a 'castle'. The photos never show you much around the back or inside, there's a reason for that; it is right on the A350, it is borderline derelict, dirty, dusty, mouldy, shabby and basically close to being a hovel. We paid over £2,000 for 16 of us to stay here, never again. Key lowlights of the place are:

The electrics kept tripping plunging us into darkness.

The Aga was on so low we had to put the Sunday dinner on at 2am, and the chicken was only just cooked by 1pm.

The shower leaked through from the first floor directly onto the bed/people staying below.

The fridge was warm

The furniture is old and broken.

Almost every surface was written on in ‘sharpie’ pen; such as the level at which the plates must be stacked to, do not take plugs, £5 fine, do not touch this and that, everything charged at £250. Everywhere instructions and directions about what not to do. It jokes in the information "have fun", how we laughed.

Showers were Heath Robinson affairs.

The BBQ was so mouldy Sir Alexander Fleming would have loved it.

Not enough towels

Place was freezing on arrival
And NO bedroom has en-suite facilities despite what it says!
When these issues were raised with the owner he wrote the most snarling, aggressive response any of us have ever witnessed from anyone. He had the gall to say "In all our years I have never seen such calculating, tactful and petty pursuit by any of our thousands of guests". In terms of the useless Aga, which took 16 hours to boil potatoes he replied "Come on ! It's pretty obvious you loved and enjoyed the Aga and then turned it down when you left so you could fabricate this story". This is so obtuse it is seriously worrying in a business owner.
When told that the ceiling leaked – the owner claimed we had damaged it and wanted £285 to fix it, told us we were “stupid” and refused to hand back the deposit.
Do not, ever, ever stay in this place. You will regret it. The only saving grace is it was so awful, with the passing of time it has become faintly hysterical and given us cause to laugh at its shear awfulness.

You have been warned.

Positives: It made us laugh at the awfulness of it.

Negatives: As above